Unfazed by you pointing towards me

After a long day biking, 30 mins one way in Beijing traffic/haze/cold between my lab and the lab with the micro-CT machine at the PKU hospital with my lab mate, I was hungry. My lab mate (let's call him Tom) and I went for lunch at one of the canteens on campus. There Tom met one of his other friends (let's call him Jerry). I got tofu and eggs+tomatoes for lunch; yes I know what I am eating sometimes.

The three of us sat down for lunch and Jerry says hi to me in English and then Tom & Jerry get into their Chinese ramblings. To be honest, I don't understand Mandarin. But with Fluenz lessons, and just immersion, I can pick up a few words here and there. So even if Jerry wasn't jabbing his finger towards me in the air I would still know they were talking about me.

This is what I heard - " Bla bla bla Indian, bla bla bla, English, bla bla bla American, bla bla bla China, bla bla bla food, bla bla bla student, bla bla bla America ", and the entire time Jerry was pointing at me. At least Tom had the courtesy to not point at me.

It is just interesting to notice this now. There was a time when I would have just picked up fewer words and probably wouldn't have thought that they were talking about me (minus the finger pointing). But now, I felt even more weird, because I understand a bit, but not enough. So my imagination fills up the gaps and sometimes they are not filled with the nicest things. I guess if I had a smaller ego/was insecure/cared more about what people thought, I would be disconcerted by my lunch time listening.

When I want to say something about someone behind their back in Hindi to one of my Indian friends, I make sure to use code words and be as un-obvious as possible to make sure that no one else understands what I am saying. But I think the Chinese way is better - "Who cares if the other person cannot speak Chinese, let's talk about them and point at them over lunch, they can deal with it". Okay, that was sarcastic, I think it is still rude to point and talk, but I guess its just one of those cultural things. I am actually beginning to think that I am going to miss all this special attention when I return to Atlanta (where it seems that there are more Indians on campus than off).

I have made my share of faux pas too though. The most embarrassing one was when Warren and I were at the Chinese ballet. There was a couple sitting right in front of me, and they would not stop moving around in their seats (no, they were not making out). But the guy was pretty tall, and I was having trouble watching the show. Exasperated, I said to Warren - "Can't these people just stop moving". And then they just stopped still in their seats, and the guy turned around and said sorry ! I assumed they would't understand English, but I was wrong. I was surprised that the guy apologized and felt pretty bad. I feel that if this had happened somewhere else, the guy would be annoyed at me.

But its China. I guess if shoving and sticking your elbows out is accepted, so is talking about others in front of them or behind their back for that matter and them overhearing you, is not as big of a deal as I have been made to believe...